punched in the head twice

Hey Gays!

I wish you all a happy friday in your cubicle once again. I, however will be 30 feet up on a ladder working on my North Ave property, it needs some painting work.

But enough about me and my dream of doing nothing. On to more important issues. Do me a favor and ask yourself this question— When was the last time you were in a movie theater, one hour into the movie and you found yourself getting punched in the head? Better yet, when was the last time you got punched in the head TWICE in the same movie? Well, just happened to me last friday. I was watching Signs and about half way through the nearly sold out showing, an old lady with a walker comes inching her way in. She was being led by a seeing eye old man with a flashlight, not the usher mind you. Before I realized the beasts were behind me somebody punched me in the back of the head. Not surprisingly, I whipped my head around to see who was starting shit. It was the old man. I quickly forgot about it as I watched them fumble around looking for two seats with no luck. So they left. Moments later I am bashed in the head again. This time I knew it could not have been accidental. This bitch was fucking with me. Lucky for him he found a seat a few rows in front of me before I could do anything.

Then I completely forgot about it as some jackass opened his can of soda during a silent part of the film. The actual can opening took nearly two minutes, each sound of the aluminum crinkling louder. I hope it was a good soda.

Sunday morning I arrived home at six a.m. It was quite a long saturday night, but worth it. As some of you know, I suffer from the occasional migraine. I know what triggers them now, and staying up til six drinking and neglecting sleep is one of them. It came on as I fell asleep on Sunday night, so I woke up feeling shitty. I discovered the cure for migraines. It is not drugs or alcohol or gettin it on with your lady. It is Nickelodeon. More specifically, a program called Oswald.

According to my sister’s kids, this is a “baby’s” show. Nonsense. I turned this show on at nine thirty a.m. as I woke up, and I have never felt better. He was so calm and nice to all of the other cartoon characters, it really put me at ease. Next time you call in sick, turn him on, you won’t be disappointed. Here is a photo of him. He is an octopus.

By the way, I went 6-7 thursday night during our softball double header, with a walk, 5 runs, and a home run. Also I won the coveted “yellow ball” award for making the year’s best play in the field. I am outta here, time for bed.

So Long.

dave