Hey Gays.
I know I am usually pretty positive with my emails, especially lately, but today's message may offend a few of you. I apologize in advance.
I think we should go in Iraq and send all of our troops--Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines. Every last one of them should go to Iraq, with the exception of my brother Stephen, who is in the reserves.
Why, you might ask?
Here's why. Every soldier we have (with the exception of Steve and your loved ones) are evil. If we send them to Iraq, there is a chance that Sadaam and his pals might kill a bunch of them. No, I am not looking for a victory against Iraq, I am simply hoping for huge huge American soldier casualties.
Now, the soldiers might be noble and good while enlisted, but once they get out, the evil shows up. By killing them all now, we can prevent the evil from taking over.
If you disagree with me, these four items will change your mind.
1. The Washington DC sniper used to be in one of the branches of the military. He is evil.
2. Timothy McVeigh was in the army in the Gulf War. Remember him? He is (was) evil.
3. The muthafucka that robbed my home, taking the DVD player, camcorder, and all my movies, as well as stealing a maggotless fridge and stove from me, is also a veteran. Navy I think. He is very evil.
4. I used to know this girl that I thought I was in love with and was thinkin about marrying. Well, she was stolen by an ex-marine who is 31 years old, divorced, dumb, a sophomore in college that lives in a dorm. He is the most evil of all.
If any of these 4 men had been killed in action, there would be fewer good people killed, fewer people scared, fewer unhappy and broke people, and one fewer broken heart.
So join with me in my support for a big war. I know somewhere down the line, or in the past, you will get screwed too.
dave
Friday, October 25, 2002
Wednesday, October 23, 2002
the time is near
Hey kids, I know it has been a while since I last talked to you all, but there has been a lot going on. Actually, a lot of bad shit has been going on in my life, and I think I'll share some of this with you, if only to make your day brighter.
Basically, bad luck has been kicking my ass lately. I must have done myself in by going to Europe or something, because this string of bad luck is unprecedented in my 26 years on this Earth. So here is a list of my bad luck lately--enjoy.
1. Burglary #1 -- I think I already told you this one, when I returned from Europe, I found out that some villain took my camcorder, my dvd collection, and my dvd player. That sucked.
2. Burglary #2 -- Some of you might have heard of this one. You remember my maggot filled refrigerator in one of my properties? Well, it turns out that my old tenant that I evicted there was upset that I never returned his security deposit (even though he owed 2 months rent) and in broad daylight snuck into the house and removed the fridge and stove, both brand new appliances, and the fridge sparkling clean.
3. Burglary #3 -- This one happened last night. I took out a fridge and stove from another property (luckily these were not new) to work on them. They were on the side of the house. I went there yesterday afternoon to get to work and somebody had taken them. This incident merely made me chuckle.
4. Car Issue #1 -- Muffler and tailpipe fell off my Jeep. So I had to replace, not too bad, but it nearly prevented me from seeing a movie.
5. Plumbing Issue #1 -- The shower drain and the upstairs sink drain were completely clogged, not a drop went down. This went on for a week, so I had to shower at the gym, my parents' house or one of my properties.
6. Plumbing Issue #2 -- I had a plumber come to my house. The plumber was nearly done with replacing the pipe from underneath the bathroom (in the kitchen ceiling) when he accidentally cut a hole in the water pipe. In about 5 seconds I already had 2 inches of water in the kitchen, and water was bursting everywhere like a fire hydrant. To top it off, I was charged for the 4 extra hours it took him to fix the mishap, plus parts.
7. Mary Johnson's Furnace -- This damn thing has a mind of its own. So does Mary. I got an earful on more than one occasion to fix her heat. One day I was next door fixing a door at Debra's house, and after Mary got done reaming me out, some man I never saw before--balding, toothless, 60 years old, startes "hollering" at me in some type of toothless babble I couldn't understand. I think he said something about heat.
8. I am broke. I had to pay two of my mortgages with credit card checks.
9. Women are dumb and mean lately.
10. I have a job. This is the worst luck of all. I begin work on November 4th. I will have a cubicle in a big office and my retirement will end just short of six months.
I know there has been other bad luck items, but many of them I have tried to forget in order to make myself feel better. I have not given up hope yet, yesterday was a sign that things are going to get better--the new Rocket From the Crypt album came out, and it rocks.
By the way, if any of you are on AOL instant messenger, my name there is bluemanity1, and you should drop me a line.
Well, time to go enjoy my final moments of freedom.
d
Basically, bad luck has been kicking my ass lately. I must have done myself in by going to Europe or something, because this string of bad luck is unprecedented in my 26 years on this Earth. So here is a list of my bad luck lately--enjoy.
1. Burglary #1 -- I think I already told you this one, when I returned from Europe, I found out that some villain took my camcorder, my dvd collection, and my dvd player. That sucked.
2. Burglary #2 -- Some of you might have heard of this one. You remember my maggot filled refrigerator in one of my properties? Well, it turns out that my old tenant that I evicted there was upset that I never returned his security deposit (even though he owed 2 months rent) and in broad daylight snuck into the house and removed the fridge and stove, both brand new appliances, and the fridge sparkling clean.
3. Burglary #3 -- This one happened last night. I took out a fridge and stove from another property (luckily these were not new) to work on them. They were on the side of the house. I went there yesterday afternoon to get to work and somebody had taken them. This incident merely made me chuckle.
4. Car Issue #1 -- Muffler and tailpipe fell off my Jeep. So I had to replace, not too bad, but it nearly prevented me from seeing a movie.
5. Plumbing Issue #1 -- The shower drain and the upstairs sink drain were completely clogged, not a drop went down. This went on for a week, so I had to shower at the gym, my parents' house or one of my properties.
6. Plumbing Issue #2 -- I had a plumber come to my house. The plumber was nearly done with replacing the pipe from underneath the bathroom (in the kitchen ceiling) when he accidentally cut a hole in the water pipe. In about 5 seconds I already had 2 inches of water in the kitchen, and water was bursting everywhere like a fire hydrant. To top it off, I was charged for the 4 extra hours it took him to fix the mishap, plus parts.
7. Mary Johnson's Furnace -- This damn thing has a mind of its own. So does Mary. I got an earful on more than one occasion to fix her heat. One day I was next door fixing a door at Debra's house, and after Mary got done reaming me out, some man I never saw before--balding, toothless, 60 years old, startes "hollering" at me in some type of toothless babble I couldn't understand. I think he said something about heat.
8. I am broke. I had to pay two of my mortgages with credit card checks.
9. Women are dumb and mean lately.
10. I have a job. This is the worst luck of all. I begin work on November 4th. I will have a cubicle in a big office and my retirement will end just short of six months.
I know there has been other bad luck items, but many of them I have tried to forget in order to make myself feel better. I have not given up hope yet, yesterday was a sign that things are going to get better--the new Rocket From the Crypt album came out, and it rocks.
By the way, if any of you are on AOL instant messenger, my name there is bluemanity1, and you should drop me a line.
Well, time to go enjoy my final moments of freedom.
d
Tuesday, October 8, 2002
Sad days are coming....
Hey Gys!
I hope you are all doing well, as I am, kind of. You may have heard the rumors, and yes, they are mostly true. I am going to have to get a job. Soon. I am currently the brokest I have been in my life. When I returned from my trip I had $150 to my name. I spent way too much overseas. With winter coming I have to replace 2 furnaces, possibly a third, I need a new refrigerator in one property, I have to pay for code violations, I also forgot I have to pay for 2 inspections of properties, not to mention credit card debt and other random debts. I am in poor financial shape.
So my only legal option is to get a job. One that pays more than unemployment does. So I already have one lined up and I will probably start in mid-November. Perhaps I should throw a fund raising party and call it my "coming out of retirement party."
So I got back from my trip and realized I had to rent out the upper level of one of my duplexes. I had evicted the tenants at the end of August, so when I returned from Europe on the 19th of September I decided to go check out the place before I began showing it. I had a guy coming over to look at the place at 3, and it was 1:30 when I got there. Everything looked just dandy. There were a bunch of plants in the house, and a bed with some crap on it, but nothing major. So I walk to the kitchen, and here I see that both of the new appliances I purchased a year ago are still there, not even a magnet left on the fridge. I go to open the fridge to let some air in it, and to my surprise it wasn't empty.
Not only was it not empty, it was entirely full. You had your usual 12 bottles of condiments, jellies, syrup,etc. In addition, I found opened cans of half eaten soup, a few plates of leftovers with foil cover the plates and various other foods including garlic cloves. Oh yeah, and the entire fridge was absolutely covered--every square millimeter--with dead and undead crusted or wiggling white maggots --Literally everywhere. Also included in the fridge was an insanely rancid smell that nearly caused me to vomit, and seemingly thousands of flying insects that might have been fruit flies.
Then I opened the freezer above. I found out that my old evicted tenants must have been fishermen, because there were 2 bags of self-filleted fish rotting in there. This led to a blackish-brown ooze everywhere, along with the usual maggots and flies. They kindly left the ice trays in the freezer too. Only in this freezer, the trays were filled with maggots, not ice.
So I had an hour and a half to clean up this nasty shit before the potential tenant came. I started busting my ass using gallons of bleach, gloves and the sheets from the bed that the old tenants left. I had to call the guy and tell him to make it 3:30 because it took me over 2 hours to finish. I had to pull apart every part of the entire unit. Even inside the fan in the back of the freezer there were crusty maggots.By the time he showed up, it was all good.
Enjoy your lunch!
--Dave
I hope you are all doing well, as I am, kind of. You may have heard the rumors, and yes, they are mostly true. I am going to have to get a job. Soon. I am currently the brokest I have been in my life. When I returned from my trip I had $150 to my name. I spent way too much overseas. With winter coming I have to replace 2 furnaces, possibly a third, I need a new refrigerator in one property, I have to pay for code violations, I also forgot I have to pay for 2 inspections of properties, not to mention credit card debt and other random debts. I am in poor financial shape.
So my only legal option is to get a job. One that pays more than unemployment does. So I already have one lined up and I will probably start in mid-November. Perhaps I should throw a fund raising party and call it my "coming out of retirement party."
So I got back from my trip and realized I had to rent out the upper level of one of my duplexes. I had evicted the tenants at the end of August, so when I returned from Europe on the 19th of September I decided to go check out the place before I began showing it. I had a guy coming over to look at the place at 3, and it was 1:30 when I got there. Everything looked just dandy. There were a bunch of plants in the house, and a bed with some crap on it, but nothing major. So I walk to the kitchen, and here I see that both of the new appliances I purchased a year ago are still there, not even a magnet left on the fridge. I go to open the fridge to let some air in it, and to my surprise it wasn't empty.
Not only was it not empty, it was entirely full. You had your usual 12 bottles of condiments, jellies, syrup,etc. In addition, I found opened cans of half eaten soup, a few plates of leftovers with foil cover the plates and various other foods including garlic cloves. Oh yeah, and the entire fridge was absolutely covered--every square millimeter--with dead and undead crusted or wiggling white maggots --Literally everywhere. Also included in the fridge was an insanely rancid smell that nearly caused me to vomit, and seemingly thousands of flying insects that might have been fruit flies.
Then I opened the freezer above. I found out that my old evicted tenants must have been fishermen, because there were 2 bags of self-filleted fish rotting in there. This led to a blackish-brown ooze everywhere, along with the usual maggots and flies. They kindly left the ice trays in the freezer too. Only in this freezer, the trays were filled with maggots, not ice.
So I had an hour and a half to clean up this nasty shit before the potential tenant came. I started busting my ass using gallons of bleach, gloves and the sheets from the bed that the old tenants left. I had to call the guy and tell him to make it 3:30 because it took me over 2 hours to finish. I had to pull apart every part of the entire unit. Even inside the fan in the back of the freezer there were crusty maggots.By the time he showed up, it was all good.
Enjoy your lunch!
--Dave
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