Ocean

Hey Gays!

So I am in Amsterdam now, have been for 2 days. What is the first thing that comes to mind when you think about Amsterdam? If you are anything like me, you think of Billy Ocean.

That is exactly what we heard being played at the local “coffee shop” we stopped at. It was his top ten hit “Suddenly.” This place played nothing but great similar hits.

Later that night we went to a tiny pub just off the red light district. I just wanted to get my first beer of the trip so it looked sufficient. We got in, got belly-up to the bar and drank a tasty guiness as we discussed our walk through hooker land.

There were a few interesting/creepy blokes in this bar. It was obviously locals besides us. Half way through my Guiness, this extremely drunk guy was kicked out. He was slow talking, or slurring I should say. He kept muttering something about how the bartender with a stupid mustache was living with “Tim” and kept acusing him of being gay. Then he tried talking to Myron and I, then the bartender came around and escorted the man out. Myron had moved a few bar stools down to get out of the way of the possible confrontation, so this opened up some space between us.

The bartender took full advantage of the space. He decided to sit next to me, very close and strike up a conversation with his so-so english skills. Mind you he never paid a second of attention to MYron. As I was trying to get out of this creepy conversation, I noticed the decorations on the wall. One photo in particular caught my eye. It was the dumb-mustached bartender dressed as a scantily clad woman. Next to this photo was other crossdressing photos, and gay bondage pictures and some kind of leather and chains wearing, village people looking men. As I took another look around the bar I saw a huge bell with a huge dildo as the part that rings against the bell.

Eventually the bartender got distracted by another of his friends and I got to escape. As I finished my second Guinness, I informed Myron of my suspicion. He was unsure until we left. Once he saw the other establishments around, he was convinced. The one good thing about the place, besides the Guinness, was that they played the power of love by Huey Lewis. Then they played Tina Turner.

By the way our hostel last night was in the red light district and was a shit hole, but there was a bar across the street called “dirty dick’s” and another called “cockring.” We didn’t have a chance to get there.

I am finally not jetlagged so tonight, friday night should be great fun. Also, we found a bar that is showing the Packer game on sunday night at 6 over here, so that should be fun.

So long, Suckers


dave