fish n chips

Hello kids.

I am in London. I am quite near Notting Hill actually. My flight went pretty well except for the infant sitting right behind me that screamed bloody murder for 6 hours straight. I couldn’t physically do that for 6 hours, I can’t comprehend how this tiny child of 6 months could have that kind of stamina without falling asleep.

The parents had a great strategy to shut this damn thing up—they shhhhhh-ed the kid. I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t think I learned what shhhhhhh meant until at least 5 years old. Telling a screaming baby to shhhhh was not the answer. Strangulation maybe, but not shhhhhhing.

So we got to London feeling pretty good. That was, until I nearly was killed. Myron and our single-serving friend Cristina saved my life. Somehow, in the midst of all my jetlag, I began crossing the street without looking both ways when a truck came barrelling at me. Myron and our single-serving friend screamed like 6 month old babies on an 8 hour flight to London for me to get out of the way, and I survived to tell the tale.

Later we were walking like zombies around Chinatown and we saw a man attacking a parking checking cop. This crazed foreigner (even more foreign than us) was verbally assaulting this cop with every known curse word, and some that I just learned. Then he made a fist and gave the cop a “two for flinching” type of fake punch, then proceeded to knock the man’s cool hat off and push him. If it were not for this nimrod’s caring family, entertaining fisticuffs would have ensued.

Right now we are trying to find a way to Amsterdam for tomorrow. And I am very fucking tired and hungry. It is 6:24 pm here and you gays are enjoying your lunch break at work . needless to say my body is confused and needs rest.

so long from LONDON.

DG